Sunday, February 18, 2001
After 2 days of wedding ceremonies, I sit here relaxing in comfy western clothing. Yesterday I had to wear a red and gold silk Chinese style dress that mom had made for me last week and today I wore my white ao dai that the bride had made for me. My cousins laughed at the way I sat on it -- you're supposed to take the back portion of the dress and swing it over your lap when you sit (it's the traditional Vietnamese dress worn with pants), and i kept tripping over it, too. I'm an extraordinary klutz here in Vietnam, not to mention lacking in grace and girlishness.

Last night at the wedding reception, I met one of my father's brothers, Chu Minh, for the first time, and several other family members and old grade school friends of my mother's. No one thinks I look vietnamese -- they say I look lai, which means mixed, since I have big eyes and white skin and a high nose (I'd say big). Of course, it's rather the opposite in the US -- the tanner, the better.

Holy shit. They're playing "Knock 3 Times" on the CyberCafe's system right now. Dad used to play this when we were just kids. The Vietnamese's taste in music has not changed in 25 years. They're constantly playing oldies and they looooove Elvis and Kenny G.

A Vietnamese wedding reception is quite an odd spectacle. Usually, the cake is fake, except for the top layer for cutting. Luckily, my aunt went with class and we had a real 5 or 6 tiered cake decorated with fresh white and light colored roses. There were about 200 people at the wedding, and it was a 6 or 7 course dinner served rather nicely, although some guests tend to bolt as soon as the eating's done. There's also a great deal of singing done by guests. Luckily, the ones that sang last night actually knew how to do it well. The wedding was today, after the reception last night because today was rated as a "good" day on the Chinese calendar for my uncle to be married. It starts out with everyone in the groom's family gathering at his home. We then all carry large trays of food and gifts and wine, or trail along behind those who carry these trays, and parade to the bride's home to properly pass the bride over into our family. When we arrive at her home, we're seated, she comes out, there is a ring ceremony, and then a tea ceremony between the groom and the bride's mother and the bride with the groom's mother and the representative head males of the families (in this case, a great uncle and fellow whose relation I do not know on the bride's side). A few speeches by the elders, and then we pack up and head back to the groom's house for more speeches, gifts, and another reception. We've been busy! (well, busy eating...)

I have been working for a week now for a company that puts out a tourist guidebook, and I was also offered a job working at the Vietnamese-English School to teach children English as well as to do their marketing. I haven't quite turned them down, but will request a teaching position in the evenings if I can. I don't know enough about the Vietnamese marketplace to do their marketing. Everyone has been incredibly hospitable here, and I feel very at home. With so much family nearby, I feel very close to many people who are virtually strangers to me. My cousins are very sweet, and I've also met many uncles, aunts, second, third, and fourth cousins, great uncles and aunts, cousins several generations removed, and so on. It's quite confusing, but I'll eventually draw a family tree.

Today I ate a new fruit called mân, also known as pomme-rose and originated in inda. It is sort of like an apple, but more sour, harder, and well, different. It was harvested from my Ong 10's (great uncle 10's) garden in Phan Thiet, which is a small town north of Saigon, where my mother was born & raised. I'm hoping to take a weekend trip up there sometime soon. I've also tried several other new foods, and my mom and I always think of my dad 'cause mom says, "oh, your dad used to really love eating this." I eat extra for him.

Lately I've been able to read and write better in Vietnamese. My vocabulary grows by 2 to 4 words a day, and I learned a new saying that Thanh, my aunt's driver, taught me. I had asked why everyone says I have big eyes, and why is that good? He said, "mat la tre chong de chong danh, mat la mit, chong hon, chong hit" which translates to "eyes the shape of bamboo leaves, husbands opress and hit, eyes the shape of jackfruit leaves (round leaves), husbands kiss and [vietnamese] kiss." Lucky me. Thanh is great; I spend a lot of time with him in the car when driving my aunt around, and he teaches me how to read and write. I read all of the street signs all day long. Imagine hearing "gas pump. Parking. Refrigerators sold here. Guests welcome. Vendor specializing in Electronics. Travel Agency. Vehicles with 2 or 3 wheels only." And so on. He knows the answer to everything, and he's a true jack of all trades. I really enjoy talking with him, 'cause he's infinitely patient, kind, and knowledgeable.

Life lately has been good, but it was unbearably hot today. Yesterday was not too much cooler, and my cousins Ti & Trung who are visiting from San Jose, CA, and I took a ride on a cyclo -- the 3 wheeled bike carts in which the driver sits in back and cycles you around town. We got a picture of me sitting on it and one of Ti, too. If I can scan it I will. All I can think of is, "Hani: AIDS Ride Vietnam." Oi. It's really too hot for that here! The cyclo driver rode us around town for about an hour and pointed out all the general sites in Saigon. The people here try very hard to be as helpful as possible while making a living. The cyclist also told me to keep my bags and parcels and cameras inside the seating area since honda drivers tend to swerve by and grab your bags (and knock you over in the process).

Enough babble. Please continue to write me with the updates of your own living experiences as I miss the States very much.

Love to all.
hani